In this essay, I turn towards artistic experience in combination with related research on painting history to examine the material choices of my artistry.

My choice of painting on a canvas torn by the weather causes the colour to fall off and shed, which actualizes the theme of working through bodily sensation as a way of seeing. Meditation is brought up as a comparative field, where ”Body eye” is coined as a term to describe how it is to paint in a “second breath” of perception.

Through different aspects of expressionism, anti-form, impressionism, gutai, arte povera, romanticism, performance art, mono-ha, and body art, my aim is to get closer to some philosophical starting points related to material choices and methods. Through painterly experiences, the performative aspect is personally and poetically exemplified in relation to the painting process. 

The capacity of the painting is explored in the failure and in the material limitations, both in the gesture of the hand (Amy Sillman) and the terminology that the canvas puts into play (Agnes Martin). In contrast, the Unhistorically feeling, the Willful forgetfulness (Friedrich Nietzsche), and the Limitless darkness (Rainer Maria Rilke) is brought up to reflect the experience of the painting as something continuously expanding.